Women Today

There are only a few days left to enter Women magazine's monthly contest.

For your chance to win the umbrella or a Light & Easy recipe book from the American Heart Association, send your name, address and phone number along with the answers to the questions below to:

Contest, Women magazine, 1486 Kenwood Center, Menasha, WI 54952.

All answers are in this month’s issue of Women, at www.mywomenmagazine.com. The entry deadline is April 2.

1. What type of footwear is Lisa Cruz likely to have on? (See page 5)

2. What is the name of Jeannette Walls’s book? (See page 14)

3. Ali Vincent was the champ of which television reality show? (See page 11)

4. Where does Pam De Leest like to golf? (See page 22)

5. Finish this “Thrift store find” tip: Forget about ________. (See page 27)

Today, guest blogger Brenda Velissaris of Saris Counseling in Appleton shares some surprising information about what kids are doing online:

I recently came across some startling information about teen and young adult usage of technology to send sexually suggestive text and images.

This information comes from a research study conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy along with CosmoGirl.com.

These two organizations combined together to survey 1,280 participants between ages 13 and 19 as well as 20 to 26 in fall 2008.

Here is what I found startling: 20 percent of all teens surveyed have sent or posted online nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves. The percentage jumps to 33 percent for young adults.

As for sending sexually suggestive messages 39 percent of teens and 59 percent of young adults are doing it.

What surprises me even more is that these individuals don’t see anything inappropriate with what they are doing until the images and messages fall into the wrong hands. By then it is too late.

So what are your kids doing on the internet and cell phone? Here are 5 tips for parents to help them talk with their kids about sex and technology.

1. Talk openly and honestly about sex to your kids about what they are doing in cyber space. Make sure that your kids fully understand the short-term and long-term ramifications of posting images or words on the internet or through their cell phones. Help them understand that nothing in cyberspace to truly private.

2. Know who your kids are communicating with. Supervise and monitor your child’s whereabouts in cyberspace.

3. Consider setting limitations on electronic communication. For example, not allowing computers in their bedroom or shutting off the phone after a certain time each night.

4. Be aware of what your child is posting publicly. Keep tabs on what your child is posting on MySpace, Facebook and other public online profiles.

Talk with them specifically about their own notions of what is public and what is private information. Your views may be different but you will not know this if you don’t ask, listen and discuss.

5. Set expectations about what you consider appropriate “electronic behavior”. Give reminders to your children about those expectations from time to time. If the expectations are not being met enforce consequences, which send a message that you mean business.

For more information about the research study and extra tips on how to address this issue go to www.TheNationalCampaign.org/sextech.

Warmly,

Brenda
www.sariscounseling.com

Amy Oberg, a strategist and futurist from Future-In-Sight, shared some perceptive thoughts about the economy and where things are headed when she spoke this morning at the Employer’s Breakfast at the Wo/Men’s Educational Bureau at Fox Valley Technical College.

The key to preventing another economic failure in a decade or two is to fix the economic system, she says, and notes that it looks like the Obama administration is attempting to do just that.

“I think they’re actually doing very, very well,” she says. “They have clearly acknowledged it’s a structural issue, it’s a system issue we’re dealing with. I am pretty optimistic about the path they’ve taken so far.”

It remains to be seen how the changes that have been implemented so far will impact the system, and which unintended consequences will emerge.

She noted that a realignment of social values that began with the bursting of the dot-com bubble and the 9-11 terrorist attacks has accelerated, with a movement away from consumerism toward simplicity.

Possible outcomes of this include more bartering, a delay of major life events such as marriage and children and more multigenerational households. Children may hang around mom and dad’s home until they’re in their 30s.

More reading, public library use and outdoor activities are also likely, as is a switch to more home remedies and online shopping.

On the negative side, drug and alcohol use are likely to rise, and the divorce rate may increase as couples deal with money issues.

Oberg was speaking to employers at the breakfast meeting, and noted that they should be prepared for shifts in consumer habits. What if there is a significant decline in consumer spending? What if there are changes in household competition.

She also noted that the U.S. position of power may be on the wane, as other economies move to the forefront. India could become a large global center of consumerism, and countries such as Russia, China and Brazil could play a key role in the economic decisions of the future.

Technology will also play a large part in shaping the world to come, she noted. Energy alternatives to oil, including roof shingles as solar panels and electronics powered by body movement, could be coming.

When an audience member asked Oberg which manufacturing sectors she sees as good bets, she mentioned energy and water purification as two areas to watch.

This week our friends at Unity Hospice look at the people who choose to work in hospice care:

Since the founding of the modern hospice movement more than 30 years ago, men and women in the fields of physical, spiritual and emotional support have found professional fulfillment in end-of-life care.

Unlike many fields where children grow up dreaming of filling their adult predecessors’ shoes in the working world, end-of-life care is not so much a chosen profession as a profession that chooses its members.

Nationwide, in 2007, an estimated 1.4 million patients received services from hospice. Countless others received care from the nation’s growing palliative program.

Nearly 3 million more people received support through bereavement programs provided for the loved ones of hospice patients.

In carrying out their respective roles, as physicians, skilled nurses, social workers, certified nursing assistants, chaplains, grief counselors, support staff and volunteers, each member of the patient’s care team becomes part of the journeys traveled by these patients and families.

From an outsider’s perspective, a career in end-of-life care can have the appearance of a very dark and depressing line of work.

For individuals working in end-of-life care, it is viewed as a blessing to be part of so many people’s lives, in such a meaningful way, until they die.

End-of-life care is a calling for those who work in the field. While held close to each one’s heart and shared only in the most private of moments, virtually every member of the patient care team has its own story of what brought him or her to end-of-life care.

Whether the death of a child, loss of a grandparent or something in between, their story was their calling to the specialized profession.

It’s the moments shared with patients and families, and the impact made on their lives, which keep them serving the community’s needs.

In founding the modern hospice movement, Dame Cicely Saunders laid the foundation for not only a comforting and dignified approach to end-of-life care, but also rewarding career paths for scores of individuals across the globe.

Unity, leaders in hospice and palliative care, provides comfort care to people of all ages throughout Northeast Wisconsin.

Whether at a private home, nursing home or assisted living facility, Unity’s skilled team of nurses, physicians, social workers, nursing assistants, chaplains, volunteers and grief counselors ensure the best quality of life for both the patient and family, based on the individual’s needs and wishes.

A not-for-profit health care provider, Unity is dedicated to ensuring that all individuals and the communities in which they reside have access to education, support and quality holistic care.

NHPCO Facts and Figures: Hospice Care in America. Alexandria, VA: National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, October 2008.
http://www.nhpco.org/files/public/Statistics_Research/NHPCO_facts-and-figures_2008.pdf

It's at times an uncomfortable book to read, but I'm happy that my 7th grade daughter and I are both reading "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls.

Walls covers some tough topics in her autobiographical book, including sexual abuse, poverty and neglectful parents.

It's not always easy to read, but the book has caused both my daughter and I to look at the world from a different perspective. It's also been a springboard for some interesting conversations.

I recently had the opportunity to interview Walls for a story in Women magazine and am looking forward to seeing her on April 2, when she's speaking at Green Bay's Weidner Center as part of the Bellin Health LifeLines series. (Tickets are $32. To order call 800-328-8587 or see www.wcpresents.com.)

Our telephone conversation yielded some interesting insights into her memoir, and was the basis for this story in the current issue of Women magazine:

Jeannette Walls doesn’t hold back in her memoir “The Glass Castle,” talking frankly about scavenging food from garbage cans, being burned as a toddler and her alcoholic father’s rages.

It wasn’t easy for her to confront her past, and admits to her face burning with shame while writing about her family and how she survived in extreme poverty. As she’s spoken to people about the book, however, she’s realized that opening up about her childhood has helped others see their own lives in a different light.

“I have been stunned by number of people who come up to me after a talk and start telling me about their lives,” she says. “They tell me details and start crying. They say they’ve never told anyone this and they’re so ashamed, but the stories are so heroic. Why are you ashamed?

“Telling my story has given them courage to open up about their stories.”

Walls will speak about “The Glass Castle: Demon Hunting and Other Life Lessons” at Green Bay’s Weidner Center on April 2. Her story fits perfectly into the Weidner Center LifeLines series, says Katie Green, Weidner Center executive director.

“Her story is unbelievably moving,” Green says. “It’s a journey that inspires you take on the challenges life presents to you.”
Walls’s book, which has been on “The New York Times” best-seller list for more than two years, details a childhood of poverty that had Walls and her siblings often fending for themselves as they scavenged for food, faced down rats and protected themselves from sexual abuse.

While her parents did little to nurture their children physically, Walls also describes the way they instilled a sense of adventure and creativity in their children.
“Some people have accused me of being in denial about how bad my parents were, but life is how you choose to see it,” Walls says. “I believe parents had faults, but they also had good qualities and I chose to focus on the good ones.”

Walls became a successful journalist in New York and hid her childhood from her peers until she was almost 40, when she sat down to confront her past and work on her memoir in earnest.

She wrote the first version in six weeks and then spent five years rewriting it. The process showed her just how good and bad her parents truly were, and also took away the burden of keeping her past a secret.

At one reading of her work, a psychologist explained the catharsis that openness brings. He compared secrets to vampires, telling her that “they suck the life out of you and survive only in darkness, but once they’re exposed to light there’s a moment of terror but then they lose their power.”

Walls is now working on a prequel to her book and is interviewing her mother about her grandmother’s life. When was writing “The Glass Castle,” she first thought the best part of the book would be her New York City years, when she found success as a journalist. She soon realized that people identified more with her childhood.

“Everybody connects with something in it,” she says, whether that’s embarrassment over their parents, wanting to fit in or thoughts on what parenting means.”

She’s gratified when she hears how “The Glass Castle” encouraged young people to persevere or gain empathy for others, and helped adults face their own difficult childhoods.

“The truth is it’s not about me it’s about the readers,” she says. “You make these emotional connections and it makes them see themselves differently.”

Michael Perry, author of “Population 485: Meeting Your Neighbors One Siren at a Time,” is one of the featured authors at this year's Fox Cities Book Festival.

He's also a great guy. When I asked for an interview via e-mail one afternoon, he responded that evening with the answers to my questions. Here are his responses, which are also included in this month's issue of Women magazine:

Q. How has growing up and living in Wisconsin shaped your work?

A. I try to write books that will be of interest outside of the Badger State, but I take special delight in sneaking a few Wisconsin-only inside jokes between the lines.

I once wrote a piece (in the book “Off Main Street”) about having a kidney stone. I described very first twinge of pain as being like “gas pains at dawn…of the sort precipitated by excess bratwurst at bedtime.”

When I deliver that line at readings in San Francisco, or even Iowa, nobody reacts. But in Wisconsin, you always get a few knowing chuckles.

Who among us cheeseheads hasn’t enjoyed leftover bratwurst for a bedtime snack?

Q. What has been your most exciting moment as an author?
A. Actually, ever since I started writing, those moments have been accumulating.

I’ve been allowed to do so many things – hitchhike across the United States with truckers; ride across the nation in a country music tour bus; write a book about my beloved hometown – that I simply never anticipated, and frankly am unqualified to do except that I carry a pen and paper.
I’m deeply grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given. They go beyond a simple love of writing.

Last year I completed a magazine assignment in which I climbed Mt. Rainier in the company of two veterans severely injured in Iraq. To be given the opportunity to spend time in the company of men who embody service and sacrifice, and to climb beside them to the top of a mountain I’d only ever seen in pictures, and above all, to be trusted with their story…I just never dreamed of these things when I was a kid milking cows in my flat corner of Chippewa County.

And then, when the traveling is done, I get to come back to type and live where I am most at ease: among my neighbors in Wisconsin.

Q. How do you beat writer’s block?

A. As a full-time freelance writer, I can’t really afford writer’s block. I’ve got kids to feed and health insurance premiums to pay.

I joke that my muse is a bald-headed guy named Jim. He sits in a swivel chair at the bank, and he holds my mortgage.

Whenever I need inspiration, I just think of Jim, cackling in his chair, and suddenly the words begin to flow.

Q. What’s next for you?

A. I’m working on a new book about old-timers, a magazine article about musky fishing, an essay about making it to 44 as a teetotaler (never even had a beer…the governor may revoke my Wisconsin citizenship!), and looking forward to doing the pig chores all summer with my daughters at my side.

The Fox Cities Book Festival takes place April 14 to 19, and you can catch Perry at the following events:

-- On April 14 at 11 a.m. at the Kaukauna Public Library

-- On April 14 at 7 p.m. at the Little Chute Public Library

-- On April 15 at noon at the UW-Fox Valley Student Union

-- On April 15 7 p.m. at the Menasha Public Library

-- On April 16 at 10 a.m. at the Neenah Public Library

-- On April 16 at 2 p.m. at the Appleton Public Library.

An event to look forward to in April is the second annual Fox Cities Book Festival, which will be held April 14 to 19.

The latest issue of Women magazine features a Q&A with author Michael Perry, who will make numerous appearances during the festival. His touching and humorous account of life in a small town is recounted in "Population 485: Meeting Your Neighbors One Siren At a Time."

Tomorrow, our blog will feature an extended version of the interview.

If you'd like to make plans to attend the festival, here are some of the Wisconsin authors featured:

Dwight Allen, a Lawrence University and University of Iowa Writers Workshop alumnus and author of The Green Suit and Judge. His third book, The Typewriter Satyr, will be released this year. Allen and writer C.J. Hribal will speak at Lawrence University’s Main Hall 105 April 17 at 4:30 p.m. Allen will speak at the Appleton Public Library April 18 at 1:45 p.m.

A. Manette Ansay, who grew up in Port Washington, author of Vinegar Hill, an Oprah Book Club selection, and Midnight Champagne, a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award in 1999. Ansay will give a talk at the Neenah Public Library April 18 at 1:45 p.m.

Samantha Chang, who was born in Appleton, author of Hunger, a novella plus four short stories, and Inheritance, a novel. Chang is the daughter of Chinese parents who survived the World War II occupation of China. She is currently director of the prestigious Iowa Writers Workshop. In 2008, Chang received a Guggenheim Fellowship. A reception for Chang will be held at the UW–Fox Valley Student Union April 17 at 5:30 p.m.

Marshall Cook, a professor at the University of Wisconsin, author of 27 books, including Obsessions, Twin Killing and Murder at Midnight. He is a columnist for ByLine magazine. Cook will give a talk at the Menasha Public Library April 18 at 10 a.m.

Darren DeFrain, professor at the University of Wisconsin–Fox Valley, author of The Salt Palace, which was awarded the Best Book of 2005 by Kansas City Star, In and Out and Public Displays.

Mary Relindes Ellis, whose first novel, The Turtle Warrior, is set in rural northern Wisconsin, including the Vietnam War, World War II and the vast and unsettled terrain of the human heart. Ellis will give a talk at the Neenah Public Library April 17 at 2 p.m.

John Galligan, a teacher at Madison Area Technical College, author of Red Sky, Red Dragonfly, and the three novel series The Nail Knot, The Blood Knot and The Clinch Knot. Galligan will give a presentation at the Menasha Public Library April 18 at 11:15 a.m.

Victoria Houston, a native of “up North” Wisconsin known for her up North fishing mysteries, including Dead Creek and Dead Hot Shot, based on the settings and characters of her childhood. Houston will give a talk at the Menasha Public Library April 18 at 12:30 p.m.

C.J. Hribal, a teacher at Marquette University, author of The Company Car and American Beauty and writer of the award-winning collections Matty’s Heart and The Clouds in Memphis. Hribal twice won the Sternig Award for Short Fiction and is a member of the fiction faculty at the Warren Wilson MFA Program for Writers. Hribal will speak at UW–Fox Valley Room 1346 April 17 at noon and at the Appleton Public Library April 18 at 12:30 p.m.

Lesley Kagen, a New York Times best-selling author who grew up in and then moved back to Milwaukee, author of Whistling in the Dark and Land of a Hundred Wonders. Kagen will give a reading at the Kimberly Public Library April 18 at 1:45 p.m.

Sandra Kring, author of Carry Me Home, The Book of Bright Ideas (for which movie rights have been purchased) and Thank You For All Things, which will be released Oct. 7 and has already been named Walmart’s Read of the Month for October. She lives in Wisconsin where she is at work on her next novel, How High the Moon. Kring will give a talk at the Appleton Public Library April 18 at 10 a.m.

David McGlynn, professor at Lawrence University, whose works have appeared in Alaska Quarterly Review, Image, Mid-American Review, Shenandoah, and other literary journals. His collection of connected stories is The End of the Straight and Narrow. McGlynn will read from his collection at the Appleton Public Library April 18 at 11:15 a.m.

Kaisa Ullsvik Miller, who grew up near Madison, author of the poetry collection Unspoiled Air, which was awarded the Motherwell Prize from Fence books. Her recent work can be found in journals including Ploughshares (Winter 2008), Fence (Spring 2008), HUNGER magazine, and Bombay Gin.

Debra Morningstar, an Oneida storyteller of the Native story, song and spirit. She weaves tribal stories and drumming into an entertaining and educational cultural presentation. Morningstar will give a presentation at the Appleton Public Library April 18 at 11:15 a.m.

Michael Perry, humorist, Wisconsin native and author of the best-selling memoir Population 485: Meeting Your Neighbors One Siren at a Time, the essay collection Off Main Street and recent hit Truck: A Love Story. Perry appeared in the first Fox Cities Book Festival in 2008. Perry will give talks at the Kaukauna Public Library April 14 at 11 a.m., the Little Chute Public Library April 14 at 7 p.m., the UW–Fox Valley Student Union April 15 at noon, the Menasha Public Library April 15 at 7 p.m., the Neenah Public Library April 16 at 10 a.m., and the Appleton Public Library April 16 at 2 p.m.

Lowell Peterson, an Appleton resident, Vietnam War veteran and cardiologist at the Appleton Heart Institute. Peterson’s books include The Sun Rose Clear — Stories of World War II; A River, Green Grass, and Fences — Stories of a Childhood; and The Birds Were Silver Then — Stories of the Vietnam Air War. Peterson will give a talk at the Appleton Public Library April 18 at 1:45 p.m.

Jess Riley, a Wisconsin native and UW–Oshkosh graduate, author of Driving Sideways. Riley will give a talk at the Kimberly Public Library April 18 at 12:30 p.m.

More information on the festival can be found at http://www.focol.org/bookfest/index.asp.

There were some tense moments on "The Biggest Loser" last night when Greenville's Kristin Steede stepped on the scale.

She was vying to become the first contestant on the NBC reality program to lose 100 pounds, and had to lose 4 pounds to do it.

When the numbers flickered and revealed an 8-pound weight loss, everyone erupted in cheers.

Steede took the opportunity to encourage others to try to do what she has done, noting that her weight loss gave the message that anything is possible.

"She was proud of herself, but she also felt that if she can do it anyone can do it," said Steede's sister, Stephanie Price of Shiocton.

The magazine Entertainment Weekly captured Steede's groundbreaking moment in a recent article. To read her comments, see
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20257097,00.html.

Congratulations to Women magazine's most recent winners:

Donna Steinke of Appleton, Carol Konetzke of Menasha, Ruth Geiger of Menasha, Jennifer Syring of Appleton, Marie Brousley of Neenah, Caroline Smith of Hilbert and Joyce Grulke of Green Bay.

They'll recieve a copy of a cookbook from the American Heart Association or a Go Red Tote Bag.

For your chance to win next month, see the contest in the latest issue of Women magazine at www.mywomenmagazine.com.

This month’s Women cover lady, Lisa Cruz, has become adept at juggling work and family and recently added another ball to the mix: social networking.

Cruz has become a go-to person for tips about using Facebook, Twitter and Linked In, and offers these tips to Women readers:

1. Invest some time up-front. “At first it takes a little more time, but then as you get used to communications channels and how they work it becomes a lot more manageable,” Cruz says. “I personally integrate it into my life, period.

“It’s a lot more manageable. I believe so much in the social media and networking, and also taking take time for networking in person. The two together are very powerful.”

2. Be ready for change. Cruz’s new company took a risk soon after opening and sent Jessica Dennis and Karen Buckoski to a conference about social networking on the East Coast. They came back with information that changed the way their business moved forward.

“We were able to do this by the skin of our teeth, but it was one of those up-front investments, and we can see the big picture of where this is going and the impact on public relations.”

The information Dennis and Buckoski made Cruz and her coworkers rethink their business model after they only been open for a few months.

“We had to turn this whole ship around. But that’s the beauty of a small business. We’re flexible, we’re nimble and a big believer that we need to continuously be learning,” Cruz said. “Because once you stop learning, game over.”

3. Keep up with things. Cruz goes on Twitter an average of five to 10 times each day. She also checks Facebook, and will visit Linked In a few times a week for about 10 minutes.

4. Look to the future. “Think long-term. I always think long-term,” Cruz says. “In everything I do, what’s the big picture? If you have to, sacrifice a little today because you’re thinking about the big picture.”

For more on Lisa see the cover story at www.mywomenmagazine.com.

Be ready for April showers with a Go Red umbrella from the American Heart Association.

For your chance to win the umbrella or a Light & Easy recipe book, send your name, address and phone number along with the answers to the questions below to:
Contest, Women magazine, 1486 Kenwood Center, Menasha, WI 54952.

All answers are in this month’s issue of Women, at www.mywomenmagazine.com. The entry deadline is April 2.
1. What type of footwear is Lisa Cruz likely to have on? (See page 5)

2. What is the name of Jeannette Walls’s book? (See page 14)

3. Ali Vincent was the champ of which television reality show? (See page 11)

4. Where does Pam De Leest like to golf? (See page 22)

5. Finish this “Thrift store find” tip: Forget about ________. (See page 27)

Today, guest blogger Brenda Velissaris of Saris Counseling in Appleton offers five simple tips to avoid overeating:

Many of us have wondered, “Where did all the chips go?” while sitting with a suddenly empty bag on our lap while watching TV.

My vice was thin mint Girl Scout Cookies. The sleeve was gone before I could blink and left me feeling remorseful and contemplating 30 different ways to work off the cookies!

To stop this habit, before I got myself into a tizzy I began to do a “check-in” with myself. It’s a technique I suggest often to individuals who struggle with overeating or mindless eating.

“Checking in” is taking a step back from the situation that just happened and evaluating what you did, when you did it, how you did it, who you did it with and why it was done.

This process helps you understand the dynamics behind the mindless eating that just occurred and learn what not to do next time so that the process is not repeated.

The opposite of mindless eating is, of course, mindfully eating. Mindful eating aims at focusing on the here-and-now experience of eating.

It pays attention to the sight, flavor, texture, and scent of the food, along with the thoughts and feelings you have when you are eating.

To prevent an overeating episode, like the one I recently had, it would have behooved me to practice mindful eating.

Here are some tips about how to eat mindfully:

• Eat when you are sitting down in the kitchen or dinning room, away from other distractions such as the computer or TV.

• Before you start eating, take a few deep breaths.

This helps you shift gears from what you were previously doing to what you are currently doing.
It also helps you relax so that you don’t inhale the food in as you eat.

• Take the time to put the silverware down once in a while. This gives you the opportunity to enjoy what is being eaten.

• When eating in a group, be careful not to get carried away with the conversation going on. Eating and talking can be a big over-eating trap.

When you talk put the fork down, listen, and then eat.

• As you eat, pause and do the check-in with yourself. Determine what your hunger level is and eat accordingly. The aim is to feel satisfied rather than to clean off the plate.

These five tips can help you avoid an all-out eating frenzy.

I do realize we are all human and that it is very easy to slip into old patterns of eating.

If that is the case, and you’re left with an empty half-gallon container of cookie dough ice cream, then use the check-in process so that you are better prepared next time.

Warmly,

Brenda
www.sariscounseling.com

The Fox Cities Performing Arts Center again added some interesting flavor to the area’s entertainment scene to through its Arts Alive! series last weekend.

The performances of Diavolo on Friday and the Blue Note Records 70th Anniversary Tour brought a high level of talent to the Fox Cities and added some fresh options to the community’s entertainment choices.

The performance art group Diavolo blends dance, gymnastics and acting in a way that’s oddly mesmerizing.

It bases each of its performances around a theme (“Foreign Bodies” follows the cycle of life, while “Tete En L’Air” examines isolation and disconnection), but if you don’t want to think too deeply it’s possible to simply enjoy the performers’ movements set to hypnotic music.

There are show-stopping moments that will bring gasps; admittedly my favorite part was seeing the performers flipped into the air off a giant rocking ‘boat’ into the arms of another pair of performers.

Watching Peter Washington on bass and Lewis Nash on drums were highlights of the Blue Note Records 70th Anniversary Tour performance the next night.

Washington did things with the bass that I didn’t know were possible. He’s an accomplished performer who knows how to make the strings sing.

Drummer Lewis Nash seemed to thoroughly enjoy every minute of his performance, from solos that had his drumsticks looking like blurs to blending into the syncopated rhythms of the group.

The group did justice to jazz classics such as Freddie Hubbard’s “Hub-Tones,” “Little B’s Poem” by Bobby Hutcherson and “Dolphin Dance” by Herbie Hancock to make for a sizzling jazz-infused evening.

For information on what's coming to the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center, see www.foxcitiespac.com.

Sometimes all it takes to get kids to volunteer is to give them someone to blame.

“It can help to reduce the embarrassment factor when kids can ‘blame’ their parents if peers give them a hard time,” says Chris Knapinski, a Neenah mom and active volunteer.

“Eventually, though, most kids will recognize and appreciate the benefits and joys of volunteering and carry on the tradition without you.”

Molly Griffin, a writer for Women’s sister publication fyi! Family and communications coordinator for the Twin City Catholic Educational System, recently talked to Knapinski and Lisa Marker for some tips on getting kids to be involved and volunteer their time. Here are some more suggestions from the volunteer moms:

-- Let the children lead. If your child expresses an interest in a certain cause or organization, explore ways he or she can help.

After Hurricane Katrina struck, a group of local elementary school students organized a bake sale and lemonade stand to raise money for the Red Cross. Although parents provided the baked goods and supplies, the kids recruited volunteers and organized the entire process, raising several hundred dollars for hurricane relief.

-- Choose opportunities wisely, but don’t be too picky. Sometimes the best strategy for getting kids involved is to just do it. By waiting for the perfect opportunity or for someone to ask for help, you might miss out on the experience that will inspire your kids to give.

“When you see a need, step up!” advises Knapinski, whose children have helped with everything from washing school desks during the summer to acting as the president of the school’s volunteer club.

-- Talk about it. Both Knapinski and Marker stress the value of helping kids understand why it is important to volunteer.

Sometimes the reasons are rooted in the family’s commitment to doing the right thing, the desire to give back to the community from which they have received support, or recognition of the blessings they enjoy.

Whatever the circumstances, families can strengthen their children’s desire to volunteer by articulating the reasons.

“The explanation may be a simple ‘because that’s what we do’ when they are young to deeper sharing as they age,” Knapinski says. “Don’t lecture, simply share.”

-- Don’t worry about prodding.

“It’s just part of parenting to make kids do certain things,” Knapinski says. “But by working with your kids, you can give them support and guidance.”

For more on volunteering, check out the latest issue of fyi! Family, available for free at many McDonald's restaurants and Tom's Drive-Ins in Northeast Wisconsin as well as Planeview Travel Plaza in Oshkosh.

Teach Your Kids to Share Day

For a fun event based on sharing, check out National Teach Your Kids to Share Day from 5 to 9 p.m. April 24 at the EAA AirVenure Museum, 3000 Poberezny Road, Oshkosh.

Thrivent Financial for Lutherans is introducing the event for families of children ages 6 to 10.

The event focuses on teaching children the basics of sharing and giving back. The $10 per family registration fee includes dinner, activities and educational materials.

For more information visit www.thrivent.com/shareday or call 800-236-3736.

Cathy Skell of Shiocton left "The Biggest Loser" ranch last night so her daughter, Krisin Steede of Greenville, could stay, but that hasn't kept her from losing more weight.

She's featured on the ET Web site today and looks great. Here's a link to the story, which talks about Skell's decision and her positive influence on her family:
http://www.etonline.com/news/2009/03/71939/index.html

Another of Skell's daughers, Stephanie Price, says there was no question about what her mom would do when she saw the possibility that Kristin might have to go home, and that things have worked out well for her since she's left the ranch.

"I think she was ready to come home, and I think she has lost more weight being at home then she has on the ranch," Price says. "Good job, Mom!"

The wilting economy is helping a worthy organization. At this morning’s Community Report Breakfast, Bob Pedersen, president and CEO of Goodwill NCW, noted that store sales in North Central Wisconsin are up 12 percent.

When new stores in Green Bay and Algoma are added to the mix, that brings sales up 20 percent.

Goodwill’s sales are a bright spot after a dearth of dim economic news. When its sales are up, that means the organization has revenue to fund worthy programs such as its dental clinic, Early Intervention Services for infants and toddlers and its School-to-Work program.

At this morning’s event at the Butte des Morts Country Club in Appleton, a pair of individuals spoke about the difference Goodwill has made in their lives.

Jennie Satzer shared how her 19-month-old daughter, Ayla, has been helped through the Early Intervention Services for children through age 3.

Ayla’s arms did not form properly, but through the services she has received she has developed her motor skills and surprises her Jennie and her husband, Jerod, every day with her achievements.

Richard Noyola, 15, got right to the point when he talked about how the School-to-Work program has changed his life.

Although he filled out many applications he couldn’t get a job until he got into the Goodwill program. He worked his way up to donation attendant and is learning valuable job skills as he helps support his family.

Others helped by Goodwill include:

Richie Plass of the American Indian Center of the Fox Valley. Richie has a number of health issues to deal with, but that does not stop him as he facilitates the Oshkosh Correctional Institution’s American Inmate Circle of Support and is a leader of teacher training for the Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction.

Kristin Burns of Beyond Boundaries of Autism. Kristin often found it difficult to control her anger when she was frustrated, and in 2002 had to be physically removed from her high school by police. Since then she’s worked with Beyond Boundaries of Autism to earn her high school diploma and continues to build on her social skills and is working on developing independent living skills.

Greg Willing of Circles of Support. With help from Circles of Support volunteers, Greg is overcoming the challenges of alcohol and drug dependency and is reconnecting with his family. He helps out at his apartment complex and has a positive outlook on life.

Ruth Freye of the Community Garden Partnership. Ruth has lead the effort to develop a Mosaic Garden teaching site at the University of Wisconsin-Fox Valley Garden.

Carrie Ayala of Financial Information and Service Center. Carrie was struggling to meet monthly expenses and had debt after a divorce in 2004, but she has worked with a FISC counselor to adjust her budget. She’s almost finished with her debt management plan and in 2005 went back to school to become a medical assistant. She now works as a triage associate and in January purchased her first home.

Maria Dobberpuhl of Harmony Cafe and Harmony Corps. Maria is a volunteer at Harmony Café, helping the team close up every night. She has a developmental disability and has her own apartment near the café.

Hannah Methfesse of Vocational Evaluation and Work Adjustment Training. A number of mental health and physical issues made it difficult for Hannah to find a job, but through the Vocational Evaluation and Work Adjustment Training program she has worked improved her skills and is now a job coach for Goodwill.

Ray Jones of Vocational Support Services. Ray was involved in a motorcycle accident in 1990 which caused a traumatic brain injury and loss of hearing in his right ear. He has improved his physical stamina, and after an evaluation by the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation got a job at Wal-Mart with help from Vocational Support Services.

Casey Duda of Work Services. Casey, who has dealt with depression and anxiety, has found meaningful work activities through Goodwill’s Work Services program. He first worked with a job coach, but is now working independently.

According to Budget Fashionista Kathryn Finney, we can look forward to wigs, plus sizes and garage sales in the coming month.

Finney, a research scientist who tracks trends at www.thebudgetfashionista.com, sees economic challenges leading to the emergence of new trends.

Here's her forecast:

Wigs: Why are wigs going to make a comeback? Well.. regardless of your ethnic background, getting your hair done is expensive- in most cities a cut starts at $20, relaxers and blow outs at $40, and weavers and braids $100 and up.

Women are already starting to cut back on beauty services and opting for at-home-beauty-products.

Wigs offer an easy, cost effective alternative to frequent trips to the beauty salon and, unlike coloring your own hair, requires little to no hair care skills.

Plus top celebrities like Tyra Banks, Oprah Winfrey, Gwen Stefani and Jessica Simpson have been wearing lace front wigs, for years.

Plus Size Fashion: According to Women Wear Daily, plus size is one of just a handful of market segments that offers growth for the retail industry, which makes sense, as a poor diet often correlates to those with a low to middle economic status.

In addition, many people will turn to comfort food as they look for ways to cope with financial and personal challenges.

Even "thin friendly" segments of the fashion industry are embracing the trend.

Anna Wintour, Editor in Chief of American Vogue, recently praised the red carpet fashion of plus size grammy winner Adele, leading many to believe that a full figured model could make an appearance on the cover of Vogue this year.

And the final hint that plus size is a major trend? Forever 21 is launching a plus size line this spring.

Garage Sales: While online auction sites, like eBay and Bonanzle, continue to thrive, so do old school garage sales.

There's been an increase in the number of weekend merchants, who often partner with their neighbors for community-wide sales and skip newspaper advertisement for free services like craigslist.

In New York, where space is limited, some women are talking it a step further, opening up their own closets to shoppers (Wall Street Journal).

Why should we listen to Finney? She has a pretty good track record. Here are some of her past predictions:

- Prediction: Michelle Obama will redefine fashion and the role of African American women (and moms) in fashion and in the media.

Within the last month, the first lady has appeared on the covers of People, Vogue (only the 4th black woman and 2nd first lady in history) and is the first person to share a cover with Oprah Winfrey on April's O magazine.

- Prediction: Wal-Mart will be the top store to watch as it will be the only store to successful address the challenges facing middle (and coastal) American families.

According to Business Week, Wal-Mart posted a 5.1% increase in same-store sales, for February, while Target fell 4.1%. Furthermore, the publication notes that "same-store sales tallys by the International Council of Shopping Centers and Goldman Sachs was down 0.1 percent for February; excluding Wal-Mart, it fell 4.3 percent."

Last weekend’s performance of “Movin’ Out” at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center was really two shows.

Above the stage, a talented group of musicians fervently performed Joel’s songs.

Onstage, ballet dancers danced their way (sometimes brilliantly, sometimes tediously) through a loosely constructed plot tied to Joel’s songs.

The musicians, notably Kyle Martin as the Piano Man and saxophone player John Summers, were superb. Martin did justice to Joel’s music and vocals and Summers deserved the enthusiastic applause he received for his simmering solos.

The music just didn’t seem to lend itself to ballet movements, however. I’m not sure what choreographer Twyla Tharp was thinking when she incorporated those movements into a musical featuring Joel’s music.

Her idea was inventive enough to garner her a 2003 Tony Award for choreography. But from the view of a fan of Joel’s music and simple theater patron, it did nothing to bring out the heart, soul and joy of his songs.

It’s not that I have anything against ballet. I have adored the beautiful, moving performances of “Swan Lake” and “Cinderella” presented at the PAC by Russian ballet companies in recent years.

But for a musical based on Joel’s music, I would have loved to have seen something that reflected more of the grit, passion and even the humor of his music.

The plot was so loose I didn’t even try to follow it. Instead, I concentrated on the musicians the fine performances by dancers Lawrence Neuthauser and Stacey L. Harris.

I did have a good time at the theater that evening. With Joel’s music forming the basis for a show, however, it really could have been so much better.

On our Web site: See photos of theater patrons in our Out and About section.

Today guest blogger Brenda Velissaris of Saris Counseling in Appleton talks about the symptoms of postpartum depression and how to deal with it:

Many new moms experience postpartum depression. It is estimated that 10 percent of new moms will experience it. Usually it appears just days after delivery, however, it can occur even a year later.

Postpartum depression can be rather frightening if you don’t know you have it or understand what is happening to you. Be assured that it is not a character flaw or weakness and you are not losing your mind.

Instead, there are multiple factors that cause postpartum depression, including physical, emotional and lifestyle factors. The changes in hormones in the body after a baby is born play a role.

All these factors are treatable if you are educated about what postpartum depression is and know what to do if you or a loved one has the symptoms.

Here are some symptoms of postpartum depression:

Loss of appetite

Insomnia

Intense anger and irritability

Overwhelming fatigue

Lack of joy in life

Severe mood swings

Difficulty bonding with baby

Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby

Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy

Difficulty concentrating

Being overly anxious

Uncontrollable crying

Luckily, there are many options for treatment of postpartum depression. The first thing you should do is contact your doctor and start talking about what and how you are feeling.

A doctor can decided what type of medication, if any, is needed. Medications can be antidepressants or hormone supplements.

Also find a counselor that you can talk to about your thoughts and feelings. Counselors are a great source of information about postpartum depression and they can educate you about effective coping skills and corrective thinking strategies to help during the dark days and stressful moments.

In addition, there are “home remedies” to use that are great supplements to the above-mentioned treatments.
Make sure you get enough rest, eat healthy foods, shower and get dressed every day. Avoid alcohol and drugs, exercise, set realistic expectations, make time for yourself and your partner and avoid isolation.
You must remember the best way to take care of your baby is by taking care of yourself.

Finally, there are complementary or alternative treatments for postpartum such as acupuncture, massage therapy, creative arts such as art, music and drama therapy, and taking Omega-3 fatty acids.

There has been limited research on the complementary or alternative treatments so please consult with a trusted provider prior to engaging in these treatments.

For additional information about postpartum depression I recommend the following books: “The Mother to Mother Postpartum Depression Support Book” by Sandra Poulin, “Postpartum Survival Guide” by Anne Dunnewold and Diane Sanford and” A Deeper Shade of Blue” by Dr. Ruta Nonace.

Warmly,

Brenda
www.sariscounseling.com

Louis Garcia, an intern for our sister publication fyi! Family, recently covered the Appleton Education Foundation's second Brain to Five event.

He was surprised to learn that many women need more education about the dangers of alcohol during pregnancy.

Here are a few more of his thoughts on the presentation by Mary Schneider, who presented facts on the negative effects of alcohol and stress during pregnancy on soon-to-be-born children:

As a professor of occupational therapy and psychology, Dr. Schneider has researched the effects of alcohol and stress on rhesus monkeys to better understand fetal alcohol syndrome.

FAS is caused when a pregnant woman ingests alcohol. FAS can result in reduced physical, mental and behavioral growth. This can affect memory, behavior and the ability to live a normal life.

To learn more about Schneider’s research, and what local educators are doing to help inform future mothers, look for the April 7 issue of Fyi! Family magazine.

You’ll find fyi! Family for free in Appleton at Tom’s Drive-In, McDonald’s, Piggly Wiggly on Northland, Shopko and Gyros Kabobs on College Avenue. In Green Bay it’s at Shopko, Velp Ave. Mobil and Kwik Trip on Shawano Ave. You’ll also find it in Oshkosh at Piggly Wiggly on Murdock, Shopko and Planeview Travel Plaza.

In honor of Women's History Month, our friends at Unity Hospice look at the founding of hospice and the impact Dame Saunders has had on our world today:

One woman, Dame Cicely Saunders, is considered to be the founder of the modern hospice movement and a pioneer in the field of palliative care.

Saunders (1918-2005), a nurse, medical social worker and physician, brought her many years of training and skills together in founding St. Christopher’s Hospice (London, England) in 1967.

It was the first research and teaching hospice linked with clinical care.

Social trends by the 1950s saw most people dying in hospitals, rather than in their own homes. With the growth in treatment options, the medical profession had come to see death as failure.

Yet, pain was common; appropriate painkillers were rarely used. Dame Saunders’ guiding principle was “To cure sometimes, but to comfort always,” placing importance on listening to the needs and wishes of the patient.

A short 10 years later, inspired by the changing attitudes in London toward alleviating human suffering, leaders from Green Bay’s Bellin Hospital traveled to England to learn from Dame Saunders’ experience and wisdom.

In June 1977, Bellin opened the state’s first hospice, the predecessor to Unity. In doing so, Northeast Wisconsin became home to the nation’s third hospice.

Today, because of the vision of Dame Saunders, end-of-life care is an option. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO) estimates that 1.4 million patients received services from hospice in 2007, a 147% increase in 5 years.

With the nation’s first hospice having opened in 1974, in 2007 the number of providers totaled 4,700.

Today’s hospice providers carry on in the vision of Dame Saunders and, as her, believe, “You matter to the last moment of your life, and we will do all we can, not only to help you die peacefully, but to live until you die.”

Unity, leaders in hospice and palliative care, provides comfort care to people of all ages throughout Northeast Wisconsin. A not-for-profit health care provider, Unity is dedicated to ensuring that all individuals and the communities in which they reside have access to education, support and quality holistic care.

Sources; NHPCO Facts and Figures: Hospice Care in America. Alexandria, VA: National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, October 2008.
http://www.nhpco.org/files/public/Statistics_Research/NHPCO_facts-and-figures_2008.pdf

Life is so much more fulfilling when you start looking at what you can do for others.

In the latest issue of fyi! Family (available for free at many McDonald's restaurants and Tom's Drive-Ins in Northeast Wisconsin as well as Planeview Travel Plaza in Oshkosh), writer Molly Griffin of the Twin City Catholic Education System offers tips on how to instill the volunteer spirit in your kids:

Some families seem to have a remarkable capacity for volunteering. Time after time, they’re lending a hand, whether it’s helping out at the concession stand for their school’s sporting event, working on their church’s outreach project or ringing the bell for the Salvation Army.

Lisa Marker and Chris Knapinski, Neenah moms whose families are very active in church, their schools and the community, offer these tips for encouraging your children to volunteer:

-- Integrate sharing into everyday life. The Marker family makes sharing a part of daily activities.

Marker suggests having kids choose a sack of groceries for the food pantry when they are shopping with you, encouraging them to drop spare change into special collection containers, and saving kids’ outgrown clothes and unused toys to donate to organizations like Goodwill or St. Vincent de Paul.

-- Make volunteering part of special occasions. Deliver Thanksgiving baskets, help to serve a holiday meal or purchase toys or personal items for Christmas collections.

Marker’s daughters have had birthday parties where their guests were asked to bring an item for a charity collection in lieu of a birthday present.

-- Set a good example. Kids learn from doing, and having them work alongside you is a great way to inspire kids’ giving hearts.

Both Marker and Knapinski grew up in families where giving back to the community was just something they did, and they are both carrying on this tradition with their own children. Knapinski’s mother is now nearly 89 years old and continues to do what she can.

Teach Your Kids to Share Day

For a fun event based on sharing, check out National Teach Your Kids to Share Day from 5 to 9 p.m. April 24 at the EAA AirVenure Museum, 3000 Poberezny Road, Oshkosh.

The event focuses on teaching children the basics of sharing and giving back. The $10 per family registration fee includes dinner, activities and educational materials.

Thrivent Financial for Lutherans is introducing the event, which will also take place at more than 50 other sites around the country.

The events are open to all adults (parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles) and children ages 6 to 10.

The event will feature workshops on sharing, saving and spending using a values-based approach to money management.

This national event highlights stewardship and teaching kids about how they can also share their time, skills and money with others.

For more information visit www.thrivent.com/shareday or call 800-236-3736.

Cathy Skell of Shiocton is never sure what to expect when she steps on the scale as part of "The Biggest Loser" competition for the NBC program.

She's experienced weight loss of everywhere from 1 pound to 14 pounds a week, most recently 4 pounds, and says the number is always a surprise.

"I could never figure my body out," she says, adding that the fact that she recently stopped taking blood pressure medication may have something to do with her varying weight losses.

"I used to be on blood presure medication, diuretics," she says. "A lot of that came into play.

"I'm one of those lucky people go get to retain water. On the bright side of it, I've never felt better in my life."

Skell and her daugher Kristin Steede remain in compeition for the show's $250,000 grand prize. The competition that has the men and women at the ranch vying to see who will lose the most weight will wrap up on May 12.

Counting her calories and exercising have allowed Skell to improve her health to the point that she no longer needs to take blood pressure medication.

"It's wonderful. What a great gift to be off your meds just due to diet and exercise," she says.

At the ranch, she eats a diet that's heavy on fish, fruits and vegetables. There's oatmeal for breakfast, and lots of fruit smoothies.

"We're not deprived or starving ourselves," she says. "Basically it's a science of calories in vs. calories burned."

Prom season is rapidly approaching, and in the most recent issue of fyi! Family we look at how parents can help make it a safe day for their kids, as well as a fun one.

Here are some tips from area high school prom advisers:

1. Be involved. “Offer to help, either with your time or money, and support the preparations for the prom,” suggests Heidi Lieuwen, junior class advisor at Seymour High School. “It is difficult to find parents who are willing to chaperone or help set up and clean up. Prom advisors are very excited to have as many helpers as possible.”

2. Know the details. Make sure you know the time of the prom, when the students will be allowed in, the dress code and what after-prom activities are planned.

3. Stay involved. Parents should know who their kids are with, have them check in occasionally and be available the entire evening, says Laura Bergin, prom adviser at Oshkosh North High School.

4. Make them dinner. “Serve dinner to your son or daughter and their friends at your home instead of having them go to a restaurant,” Bergin suggests. “This could save money.”

5. Be a chauffeur. Offer door-to-door service, dropping your students off and picking them up after the dance.

6. Chaperone. There will be opportunities to chaperone the dance as well as the post-prom party.

7. Stay sober. “If you are going to be a spectator at the prom as a parent, please do not drink alcohol before arriving,” Lieuwen says. “Everyone wants prom to be an alcohol-free event and that includes parents.”

8. Do your homework. “Know where your son/daughter will be going after prom and how they are getting there,” Lieuwen suggests. “Contact the adults in charge at that location and make sure you know how they plan on chaperoning the evening.

9. Have your own post-post prom gathering. “Invite students to stay overnight at your house under your supervision, feed them and offer games and movies,” Bergin suggests. “Confer with other parents, maybe they would help you.”

10. Plan for the what-ifs. “If you are planning on hosting an after-prom party, plan ahead as to how you will deal with situations that might come up,” Lieuwen says. “It is especially important to understand your liability as an adult hosting a party with minors.”

For more on prom and other family-related stories, pick up an issue of fyi! Family. It's available for free in Appleton at Tom’s Drive-In, McDonald’s, Piggly Wiggly on Northland, Shopko and Gyros Kabobs on College Avenue. In Green Bay it’s at Shopko, Velp Ave. Mobil and Kwik Trip on Shawano Ave. You’ll also find it in Oshkosh at Piggly Wiggly on Murdock, Shopko and Planeview Travel Plaza.

Yesterday, therapist Brenda Velissaris of Saris Counseling in Appleton talked about using the ACCEPT technique to help deal with problems that can’t be solved right now. Today, she talks about self-soothing techniques that use your five senses:

Vision: Look at something beautiful, calming and peaceful. Have a place in you home that you can retreat to that is visually appealing and soothing.

Hearing: Listening to serene music, instruments or human voices. Humming and singing are ways to calm and sooth oneself.

Taste: Eat something comforting or have calming teas to nurture yourself.

Touch: Hold someone’s hand, hug or snuggle a person or animal. Hold onto something that is comforting like an animal or blanket.

Smell: Find a scent that is calming to you and use it. Various essential oils, freshly baked cookies and fresh air are all comforting scents to use.

The simple yet effective distraction and self soothing skills we’ve talked about over the past two days will assist you the next time you’re stuck with a problem that doesn’t have an apparent solution.

They will help you remain sane and avoid a crisis situation.

Warmly,
Brenda
www.sariscounseling.com

Therapist Brenda Velissaris of Saris Counseling in Appleton offers advice for dealing with problems you just can’t seem to solve right now:

In my blog entry last week, we talked about how making a list of problems and prioritizing them can be helpful in finding solutions.
Now that you have made the list, you may have found that there are problems on the list that are out of your control, problems you can’t do anything about.

Ruminating endlessly will not fix these issues, it won’t even make them go away. Instead, finding a way to cope is the best route to proceed for your own mental, emotional and physical well being.
A well known practitioner and professor in the field of psychology, Dr. Marsha Linehan, has developed a series of distraction and self soothing skills to use that help people survive problems and crisis.

Follow the acronym ACCEPTS to remember how to distract yourself when you have a problem and there is nothing you can do about it right now.

A: Activities- get involved in something like an event, a book, a movie, exercise, or a hobby.

C: Contribute- Do something for someone else. Volunteer, visit a friend, smile at a co-worker who is having a bad day etc.

C: Comparisons- Compare yourself to others who are less fortunate than you are or compare yourself to other situations you have been in that were worse than the one you are currently in.

E: Emotion- Engage in an activity that will positively affect your emotions, such as listening to calming music, reading a light hearted novel or watching a funny movie.

P: Pushing away- Remind yourself that there is nothing you can do about the problem right now and that it is not a good time to fix the problem.

T: Thoughts- Occupy your mind by doing various corrective thinking techniques such as counting or naming items, meditation, using this breathing technique; when you breathe in think WISE, when you breath out think MIND.

S: Sensations - When you feel you are going to do something destructive to yourself, another or property, or you are experiencing extreme emotional or physical pain, take a cold shower or hot bath or hold onto a piece of ice until it melts. The bottom line is to distract yourself with something that will not harm you.

Tomorrow we’ll look at self-soothing techniques that use your five senses.

Warmly,
Brenda
www.sariscounseling.com

For a story in fyi! Family, a sister publication to Women magazine, I had the opportunity to talk to five great young people who are making a difference in our area.

They volunteer their time and talents to do something they believe in. Here's a look at the five we'll be featuring in the next issue of fyi! Family:

Martin Uraga, senior at Appleton West High School
Martin brought together tennis players from all over the Fox Cities for friendly summertime matches at Appleton East High School. Each player paid $10 per week to cover court rental and ball fees, and the additional money raised was donated to Appleton Medical Center for cancer research.

Paul Nelson, sophomore at Seymour High School
Paul teaches elementary students about fire safety as a member of the Explorer program through the Seymour Fire Department. Through Future Farmers of America, he’s active in community projects such as ringing bells for the Salvation Army, giving buckets of sand to the elderly to help make their driveways safer in winter and making cookies to send to the troops. He’s also part of a group that cleans trash out of road ditches several times a year.

Becca Davis, 17, junior at Appleton East High School
Becca raises money for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America through a bowling event and running a half marathon in Miami in the foundation’s Team Challenge.

Alex Blechl of Oshkosh, freshman at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh
Helps out at Aurora Medical Center, Oshkosh

Cole Pankratz of Waupaca
Cole loves to read, and he found the perfect volunteer opportunity at his local library.

For more on these great kids, and for information on encouraging your children to volunteer, look for fyi! Family, which hits distribution racks tomorrow.

You’ll find fyi! Family for free in Appleton at Tom’s Drive-In, McDonald’s, Piggly Wiggly on Northland, Shopko and Gyros Kabobs on College Avenue. In Green Bay it’s at Shopko, Velp Ave. Mobil and Kwik Trip on Shawano Ave. You’ll also find it in Oshkosh at Piggly Wiggly on Murdock, Shopko and Planeview Travel Plaza.

ThedaCare will hold a free presentation about the health benefits of sleep at 1 p.m. on March 17, in the Heritage Community Room at The Heritage, 2600 S. Heritage Woods Drive, Appleton.

Marty Zubke, ThedaCare’s Sleep Lab Supervisor, will lead “The Basics of Sleep and Your Health” program. The information presented will help people maintain a healthy sleep schedule, help identify sleep disorders and inform the audience on why a good nights rest is something everyone needs.

For more information and to register for this program call 920-225-7720.

Mid-Day Business and Professional Women is teaming up with Fox Valley Technical College's Venture Center to present a "WILD" series for women leaders.

The Women in Leadership Development series of workshops that begins March 16 are designed to bring out the leader in every woman.

WILD is new program offered by Mid-Day BPW to help women enhance their professional and personal leadership goals and aspirations.

Participants will learn how to more effectively and constructively communicate, delegate and follow through. Through a series of four workshops, women will learn to focus and dedicate to personal growth and development as they aspire to make a place for themselves in their individual careers.

Featured speakers include University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh Leadership Program professor and owner of Pegasus Leadership Consultants Janet W. Hagen; Zaptastic Professional Coaching owner Carrie Schuh; Miles Kimball Co. Vice President of Marketing and Merchandising Vicki Updike; and Inner Sun Yoga Studio owner Deborah Sommerhalder.

Each of these women offers insight, experience and a unique perspective on bringing new life to leadership skills.

Four workshops will be held at $30 per session for non-BPW members or $90 for all four sessions. Workshops, which will be limited to 25 participants, will be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m. March 16, May 27, Sept. 21 and Dec. 7 at Fox Valley Technical College’s Bordini Center in Appleton, in partnership with FVTC’s Venture Center.

Contact Carrie Garczynski at 920-858-2120 or visit www.middaybpw.org for information or registration.

Over the past few weeks I've had the opportunity to interview some fascinating women, including Ali Vincent, the season 5 winner of "The Biggest Loser."

Vincent will be in Appleton on April 22 to deliver her message at the Fox Cities Go Red for Women luncheon. Since winning the competition two years ago, Vincent has become an accomplished public speaker and has appeared on shows such as “Ellen,” “Oprah” and “The Tyra Banks Show.”

Making these public appearances wasn't easy for her at first, however.

“When I first started doing different things it was nerve wracking just because it was new,” she told me in a phone interview. “Now I’ve done several interviews, and each time it’s more comfortable. I just remember that they just want to hear what I have to say.”

It’s easier to do a live television interview than a taped one, she says, as the taped interviews can require retakes.

“I’ll be in the middle of answering and they’ll be like, ‘Hold on,’” she says. “And then I always try to reword what I was saying.”

Vincent also makes public appearances, in addition to appearing on talk shows, and used to do it off the cuff. After a few speeches a friend suggested she try using notes rather than speaking from the hip.

“I ended up thinking maybe that’s a good idea,” she says. “I like to talk and share and tell stories, and I still do that but now I have a guideline to go back to.”

She credits her background as a hairstylist with giving her the ability to connect with her audience.

“I definitely have the gift of gab,” she says. “I love to go around and travel and share my story.”

At 11 a.m. April 22, she'll speak at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center for the Heart Association luncheon. For more information on corporate tables or individual tickets for the event, call the American Heart Association at 920-662-2268.

For more from Vincent, watch for the March 24 issue of Women magazine.

Women readers have until Monday to get their entries in for a chance to win some great prizes from the American Heart Association: a love your heart tote bag, a mini tote or one of five heart healthy recipe books.

For a chance to win, send the answers to the questions below to: Contest, Women magazine, 1486 Kenwood Center, Menasha, WI 54952.

All answers are in this month’s issue of Women (see www.mywomenmagazine.com). Here are a few hints:

Which truck stop does Ellen Binnema own? See page 6
What is Judy Dillenburg’s job? See page 20
Where did Channel 5’s Wendy Neuberger meet her fiancé? See page 29
Finish this quote from CPA Mary Rimple: “If you have deductions, _________________________________.” See page 12
Name one thing you should look for in a new home. See page 13

The entry deadline is March 9.

Women magazine is giving away tickets to the Spring Showcase of New Homes sponsored by the Brown County Home Builders Association.

For your chance to win, see www.mywomenmagazine.com and click on the link under the "Win tickets" heading.

Today, guest blogger Brenda Velissaris of Saris Counseling in Appleton looks at how making a list and prioritizing helps us deal with problems:

Problems, everyone has them, nobody wants them.

Some people can handle problems more gracefully then others, and there are times when some problems bother us more then others.

When we are continually bogged down with a perpetual list of problems we pay for it mentally, emotionally and physically.

This is what I call living in constant crisis, going from one issue to the next with no break. No one can get anything done living in constant crisis and it is no way to really live.

Some of us create crisis, some of us hit a rough patch in life while others are handed problems from someone else.

There is no magical way to eliminate life’s problems, however there are effective ways to manage them. This in turn gives back control in life.

I highly recommend to everyone I work with that prioritizing on paper is the best way to eliminate crisis, streamline problems, increase productivity in life and reduce stress.

This is how to prioritize:

List all problems on paper. Then go through the list and ask yourself these two questions 1) Can I solve this problem? 2) Is this a good time to solve the problem?

If you answered no to either of these questions, that is an indicator that the issue is out of your hands and it needs to go on the back burner for the time being.

If you answered yes to both questions then it is time to stop ruminating about them and deal with them.

After you have eliminated the problems that you can do nothing about right now, go through the remaining problems and number them according to severity.

I suggest focusing on the top three problems and addressing them first.
When those are resolved then move onto the next three.

Breaking down the problems into threes makes things much more feasible to accomplish. It also decreases stress because it is easier to control three problems than 15. Don’t worry about the problems that have lower priority; they will wait.

Next week I will tell you what to do when you have a problem that you can’t solve or it is not the appropriate time to solve.

For this week, get started with making your list. You’re on the right road to a healthy more balanced life.

Warmly,

Brenda
www.sariscounseling.com

Ever hear of I joists and powered venting?

If you're looking for a new home, they're terms you should be familiar with.

We talk about these items and others that new home buyers ask about in the latest issue of Women magazine. Here are more sugestions for our blog readers on looking beyond the obvious when you buy a new home:

1. I-joists
These are the pieces of wood holding up your home’s floors. Some builders uses 2 x 10 pieces of wood, which are two inches thick and eight inches wide, but Nuechterlein prefers I joists which are shaped like the letter they’re named after.

“It’s a pre-manufactured lumber so there’s no shrinking or swelling with humidity,” says Danielle Nuechterlein, new home consultant and designer with Midwest Design Homes, Kaukauna. An added bonus is that they don’t squeak.

2. Name-brand plumbing
There really is a difference in quality between a name brand faucet and an off-brand one, Nuechterlein says.

“The Kohler and Delta plumbing doesn’t have plastic inserts, it will last a lifetime,” she says. “The less expensive plumbing, you’re getting what you pay for.”

3. A warranty
Your new washer-dryer and refrigerator aren’t the only things that come with a warranty. Your new home can, too.

“Make sure your home comes with a two-year warranty,” Neuchterlein says. “A lot of times after one year you’re just getting the lawn in and a lot of the settling hasn’t been done.”

4. Service after the sale
Before you buy, talk with the builder about how the company will deal with issues that come up after the sale is completed. Some builders use a service department to take care of things.

“Builders that have a service department are able to have someone dedicated to coming back and taking care of things if you have issues in the future,” Nuechterlein notes.

5. Powered venting
Take a look at the exhaust pipe on the home’s furnace and hot water heater. If it’s powered, it will help push the exhaust out of the house. This means you can run the home’s range, bathroom fans, and dryer at the same time without causing a depressurized situation that brings the exhaust back into the home.

“When you depressurize your house, air will come in the easiest spot and the easiest spot is down the chimney,” explains Ed Schmidt, president of Schmidt Brothers.

6. Green framing
A home can be framed “16 on center” or “24 on center.” The former uses 2-by-4 studs placed 16 inches apart, while the latter uses 2-by-6 studs placed 24 inches apart.

There are different schools of thought on which is better, but Schmidt favors “24 on center” because this method uses less lumber and leaves more room for insulation.

“Not only do you conserve materials, but your house will heat and cool easier because you have more insulation and less lumber,” Schmidt notes.

7. A basement guarantee
A home’s basement may look fine now, but make sure it will stay that way with a lifetime dry basement guarantee.

“So many people are finishing their lower levels now, it’s a huge bummer five years down the road to have water issue,” Nuechterlein says. Midwest Design Homes uses a patented wrap that goes around outside of foundation to ensure a dry basement.

8. Sealed leaks
Energy efficiency can also be increased by sealing the tiny cracks around outlet boxes, light fixtures or fans. Air can escape through these cracks between the ceiling and attic, as well as cracks between the sheetrock, and should be sealed.

“It doesn’t matter if you have a concrete house, are using structurally insulated panels or a stick built house, the key thing is to stop the air leakage,” Schmidt says. “If you stop the air leakage, you’re not continually heating and cooling everything.

“You have to really pay close attention to the framing details.”

Now that you're a savvy home buyer, don't forget to check out our Web site for the chance to win tickets to the Brown County Home Builder's Spring Home Showcase!